I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a lig...t bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration. Running to the half of the house she burst through a door and found herself in a kitchen "Hello!" she called, with a frown she felt the stove, it was cold, the ashes in the fireplace were cold too, she ran from room to room calling out, someone must be living here she thought, there were beds with blankets on them and clothes in the drawers. Leaving the building she went to the carriage house, then the stables yelling "Hello!" the only response she got was the snort and hoof stomping of a. More

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