Events began to blur at that point, the priest pushing his body againstmy face, his hands on my hair, stroking it gently. Questions, always thequestio...s, Did I Love God? Doesn't God love me?He unzipped his fly and thrust it at me.In my struggling pulling away, the Camel in his fingers pressed into myarm, searing the flesh with its hot ash.Eyes winced closed but emitting no sound, I got up to leave.Father Mulligan's eyes followed me. He knew I would say nothing.He was a messenger. He had. I give him a tip and he says, "Thanks ma'am, Have a nice day now." I drive to my next stop on this humiliation journey.Into the mall parking lot, I have to park at Sears and go in to a Lecters store. I have to park at Sears because Lecters housewares is at the opposite end of the mall. So I have to trot from one end of the mall to the other, then back to my car. Making stops in between. I have to walk through Sears and I'm so self-conscious. Its not being dressed as a female, I've gotten used. More

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