“Like I said, it will be your choice if you get paddled.”With that the Face Time session disconnected. I tried in haste to dial him back, but he r...fused my call. Then came a text. “honesty is the foundation in a loving relationship. Remember, it’s your choice.” The fucking light went off and I felt so stupid and mad for falling for Ben’s shenanigans. Thinking “I got this, I am not letting him win this one.” I completed my bedtime routine and laid down for sleep. Damn! I could not sleep. I was. At 45 I realized I had not been single since I was 21. I was nervous to get back in the dating game, unsure of myself, and if I was desirable. My views on my age and if I would be desired all changed, and changed quickly. I was unsure of where to start over at, online dating was never a thing when I was younger.With some reluctance and a bit of coaxing from a friend, I signed up for Tinder. The options and selection for men over 40, hell 30, is very limited. It’s filled with women divorced. More

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