" I didn't lose them. My stash was in the trunk of my car, which I let my old lady borrow to go visit her mom. I'll have them tonight, Mr. Hammer, I s...ear."It hit me at once who he was talking to. That was Vince "the Hammer." I'd heard his last name, but it was something ethnic I couldn't pronounce or spell. He was a mid-level mob boss accused of over a dozen murders, but never convicted. It seemed the witnesses always disappeared."His bitch has them, you hear this?" the Hammer asked the other. . "Well that proves you can fuck then" I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. "How dare you!" "Look mom, I just want the chance to explore your naked body and be inside you so I don't have to waste hours jacking off." "That is totally inappropriate! Have you no respect for me?" With each attempt to explain myself I had made mom more and more furious. My plan had gone wrong. This was only the stuff of porn movies or erotic novels. Why on earth did I think it would ever work in real life?. More

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