She says taking my penis inside, a classic definition of sex, is too painful. Now, I'm not huge like those firehose porn stars. Maybe a bit bigger tha... average, but women stretch to fit, right? Anyway, my right hand, or sometimes my left, is my best friend. I gradually accumulated a small stash of x-rated videotapes and a small stack of foreign adult magazines. Oh yes, and one year's worth of Playboy, which I gifted to myself. Since the first issue came with a gift card from an anonymous buddy,. Do you have any openings today? Five o'clock. Great. No, it's for my friend Gwen. Yes, give her the full treatment." I hung up and said "I got you an appointment for a full body massage."She looked at me confused."You are all stressed. Go see Shelia. She gives the most amazing massages in the world," I advised.She said, "Well I could certainly use one." I gave her a card with the address on it. She took it and said, "What would I do without you?"I laughed and said, "Probably wither away and. More

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