Miss Edwards was my teacher and to be fair she wasn’t bad looking, about 30-ish, slim and attractive though her glasses made her look a little stern... Two weeks after my decision to ‘give up’ she told me she would be speaking to my father as she was unhappy wasting her time teaching me if I was not going to practice between lessons. I didn’t care as I wanted to stop anyway and naively thought this might be my way out. My Dad went to Miss Edwards house to discuss a way forward and when he got. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer. More

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