At a junk store I found a lamp shade decorated with those ‘nude girlie silhouettes’ you so often see as mud flaps on the back of a redneck’s tru...k.I used my dad’s wood lathe and some carving tools to make a big wooden penis with balls at the base, then painted it pink along the shaft and balls base and dark pink at the head. I drilled a hole through it for the electrical mechanisms and cord. I bought a children’s lamp with a rotating lamp shade just to get the mechanisms I needed to use on my. Then Ted thought of his namechange. That was painful because he'd be made fun of by his friends andbecause his parents would be angry and hurt because his kids would nothave his last name.Finally, Ted decided that it couldn't hurt to just go along with Marshafor a while and see where it led. He got in the car, and Marsha droveoff with Ted faintly crying and keeping quiet in the seat next to her."Have a good cry, Ted, and welcome to your future. It'll be a loteasier for yourself when you. More

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