I had sworn off women after a nightmare of a break-up with a woman who really made me consider, for the first time in my life, whether or not life was...worth continuing. I wasn’t suicidal or anything, but I had decided that I was destined to be either alone or in a miserable relationship, the only two choices I had experience with so far. Of those two choices I had decided that I would be happier alone and to just exist and chill instead of striving to have…ya know…the house, family, career. .But them times goes by and highschool ended and i never really got into sex until i decided to install a Gay App and meet one guy who back them was much more mature than me (i was 19 and he was around 35) and we ended up setting a date, at first i was so nervous that when i got into his car i couldn't even speak, but he started to talk with me and put his hands on my body and when we reached to motel i was more relaxed but i was still in tension because i didn't really know what to do and. More

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