My eyes settled on a framed picture of Jason and me taken on our wedding day. It suddenly occurred to me that although it had been ever-present in th...s room for twenty years, the photograph had moved from a place of pride on the mantlepiece to be almost hidden behind a group of other photographs on a corner table.Had I subconsciously been slowly pushing him out of my life? I started to wonder how much longer it would be until it was replaced altogether, hidden in a drawer somewhere, to gather. As the week wore on I have been thinking a lot about the miscarriage Marie had a few years ago. We had a baby girl that got to 5 months before Marie miscarried. Marie and I were inconsolable for months afterward. I keep wondering if that’s what started this. It is a horrible feeling wondering how our baby would have turned out. We had even named her. Jennifer was the name we were going to use on our angel. I have made it past Thanksgiving. It is early December and it’s a Christmas winter here. More

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