I.E.N.D.S, and a vodka shot every 5 minutes.As you can imagine, it didn't take us long to get drunk, and not much longer than that to get *very* drunk... Before long, F.R.I.E.N.D.S was just noise in the background, like the squeak of the fan above us."I need a cock," Hem complained idly, with a sigh.I smiled a little. Hem was *always* horny. "Why?" I teased. "What would you do with it? Would you do...*this*?" With that, I slipped my popsicle between my lips, swallowing it like I would a man. I. Dear Captain StockingI'm fuming. What an utter disgrace. How could this so-called Government of National Unity send our brave boys off to defend King and Empire without providing them with the necessary equipment to fulfil their duty or keep their substantial members suitably encased? I have written post-haste to Lord Beaverbrook, the Minister for War Production, and informed him that not only is he a very naughty boy, but that unless he addresses this issue immediately he won't be brooking any. More

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