Fix it or else I’ll...”“You’ll what?”“I’ll fucking shoot you, asshole. Did you think this was for show?”The asshole just chuckled.“O... course it was. I already told you, you are not going to shoot me.”“The hell I won’t. You gonna give me some sort of ‘if you were going to you already would have’ bullshit?”“No,” he said, “Because you cannot.”“What?”“Look down.”I did.The gun in my hand was no a gun at all, but instead a light, fluffy feather duster. Ornate, frilly, and completely ridiculous. A. I give you small somethings to remember me by."Yana had already had a "small" something to remember, though she'd be happy to forget the semi-soft little pink pistol that he believed was a powerful Kalashnikov of love. She opened the packages and thanked him for the crotchless rayon panties in faded primary colors, each embroidered with the name of a different month, the vibrating dildo with cables to be attached to a car battery, the picture of the Comrade General himself wearing only polished. More

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