Because I knew that if they ordered me to talk another young woman, some friend of mine, into coming here next year I would do it. I would do whatever...I had to do to preserve my life and my marriage. I hated that I would be responsible for another woman having to go through what I was going through. But I knew I would do it.And I would come back here with her next year and spend six more weeks being raped by these people. That was the price I would have to pay to save my marriage.My own despair. So don’t speak to me of desire. How many of you know what it is like to look upon someone and know that you will never have that someone at your side? I do not mean that the odds are stacked against you. I mean know, as you know your own heart is beating because you are alive, that you will never know the touch of that person. Not even so much as a playful slap on the rear or a handshake? How many? I possess such knowledge. I know that I will never rise with the morning sun and be greeted by. More

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