When I missed my second one, I was scared. The only people I could talk to were my parents. I told them the whole story about the rape. We sat and cri...d together. Now, we had to decide what to do about the pregnancy."I basically had three choices. Abort the pregnancy, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have the baby and keep it. I'm a nurse and we try to save lives. I decided against abortion. That made it between giving it up for adoption or keeping it. I must have changed my mind a. But days later I walked into the woods with him and told him I wanted to do it again.He yelled at me saying “What the fuck! Are you queer or something?”That paralyzed me and I never acted on that impulse again until the age of forty-eight.But, from that day on, I thought about it a lot. It became ingrained in my thoughts every time I jerked off. I desperately wanted to suck somebody off, and that need was greatly enhanced after my divorce and affairs. I even thought about eating my own cum, but. More

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