I smile, take another sip, and then rise from my seat. After taking a cautious glance around, I begin to follow. All eyes are on you as you ascend the...steps and make your way across the broad patio before disappearing into the building. I wait a moment before subtly slipping through the crowded throng and in through a side door. Gently, I close the heavy door behind me as I once again catch a glimpse of your flowing, ivory coloured form strolling gracefully across the chamber floor towards the. No pain, no loss. I won’t feel a thing. No burning in hell. I damned sure won’t be hanging out on a cloud playing a harp. I want to believe that death is just an eternity of pitch black nothingness. No self awareness, no thoughts to run through my head ceaselessly. If I didn’t have such a manic mind I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. I have been trying to think of the moment that started this grand decline I am stuck in. The despair seemed to start setting in right after. More

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