I had been reborn. I had a newIslamic name and it was now time to complete my rebirth. Yet at thesame time I was struggling with the part of me which...wanted to cling onto the past that said, "What the hell are you doing? You are a man, whythe fuck do you want to become a woman? What on earth do you want tobecome a Muslim for?"But that side of me was the old me, the aggressive me, the me that couldnot see the beauty of submission, of abdication of my power as a man, ofsubmission to my mother. She was not frail and soft like the pampered wives. The farm girls had always had a certain wiry strength, but that was strength that yielded to him, their firm little legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him in tight while their arms twined around his neck until he found himself quite ensnared and with no obvious means of escape except for one, a certain route that if, if traveled long and vigorously enough, would tame this particular beast… But this was hard and violent, Eve pushed up. More

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