‘That’s a relief. Your father has been on the phone, he’s in a real mess. I can’t get any sense out of him, he’s babbling about being ruined...by me and sobbing that he can’t find your Mum and doesn’t know what to do. I was tempted to tell him to pray.’ ‘Did he happen to tell you what happened in church this morning?’ ‘No, what happened? Wait, don’t tell me, the whole church didn’t happen to see a certain porn video did it?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Oh my God, no wonder he’s in a state.’ ‘You’re lucky that you. Which reminds me of another change Step-mother had me doing, I hadto do my reading out loud. Mildred demanded that I speak clearly,distinctly and in my highest pitch of voice. She explained that itwould improve my diction and by keeping my voice modulated in thehighest range when spoken softly would make me more understandable.I admit I was a bit curious about feminine hygiene products, but onescan of those ads pretty did it for me. Well that and the fact thatMildred caught me peering at an ad. More

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