The guilt builds up and conflates with an intense shame.“Boys and men don’t dress up in stockings and women’s underwear and masturbate.” “Wh... does feeling all girlie and effeminate feel so good?”“I must be some kind of depraved pervert, a queer, a fag”. “What would she say, and do, if she caught you?”You start to develop dark imagery of being caught, exposed and humiliated. They fill you with intense fear but, through constant association with the sensual and emotional girlie pleasures you’re. There’s no way of escaping that. So let’s jump right in. A brief background for you before we start.After my break up 3 months ago with my girlfriend after 6 years of being in a relationship. Work is going as it is but I was very much confused about my life, not finding any happiness anywhere. Someone suggested me to seek spiritual help. So it might cleanse my mind. So I started digging into it.First of all, I don’t believe in god-imitating persons or as they are generally called ‘baba’. But I. More

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