Now Idon't just hate Robert, but for the first time in ages, I'm starting todistrust Ricky as well. And worst of all, whenever I think about Robert,I ...tart thinking of myself as what I 'really' am- a boy pretending to bea girl.Again, I consciously know that this thought is ridiculous. I've livedfull-time as a girl for over five years- successfully so, in fact. I'vetaken medication during that time to prevent my body from producingtestosterone, and for three years I've been taken oestrogen. Two of my front teeth weregone. I asked for morphine immediately when I discovered the extent of myinjuries, I also just couldn't cope with it emotionally, I wanted to numbmy mind and body. Maybe I blacked out again because it seemed like a longtime had passed and now both Reginald and my Stepmother were there.My Stepmother said she hadn't realized that Pete would hit me and thatshe hadn't known Brad would expose my real identity during the dance. Tome this didn't make sense because how would. More

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