Humans are generally very weak and whiny creatures and most seemed to rely on fairy tales to get them through their lives. "Okay, I'll give you that,"...he said. "You're not Santa Claus. Oh, actually you can help me with a little problem." "Oh, here it comes," I said. "It never fails. Every time one of you humans enters the woods it's all about ass-fucking an elf." I pointed at him and wagged my finger. "You look at way too much porn on the internet, mister! It's like you people go on elf quests,. Our golden retriever Bosco came over by the couch, sat by my feet, and looked up at me with those big brown eyes, clearly wanting some of the hotdog. I bit off a piece and held it out, he gobbled it up, waited for more. Now here’s where it gets really good, kids. I was hot to trot. I wanted to do what those women in the dirty magazines was doing, and I’d seen Bosco’s penis hanging out once in the backyard when a girl dog had got in and he chased it around. I stood up, got rid of my bra and. More

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