And this was all when you were just 14.The last 8 years have somehow managed to get worse and worse. Last year, you almost caught hypothermia when you... family left the house, thinking you had decided to spend the holidays with your then-girlfriend of 5 years. What made this particularly bad was that your girlfriend dumped you, via fucking the Mall Santa, Barnaby Willows, a 30 something year old slob. Apparently, your girlfriend and Barnaby have been “seeing each other” since she hit puberty. At. “What the fuck is the big deal?” she asked under her breath. “It’s not like this is a date. I’m meeting my fucking ex-husband for a drink!”Jerry was already seated at the bar when she got there, still wearing his suit from the office, nervously watching for her as she came through the door. He waved her over and stood as she came closer. They eyed each other curiously as they stood there. A kissed greeting was inappropriate with your ex, a handshake too ridiculous for somebody you spent over. More

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