As good a time as any to start my autobiography. It’s Britain, so it’s raining. I’m British so it’s important that I mention the weather: my c...mmunication skills would be zilch if I didn’t. Today the weather came up no less than four times. Firstly, Neighbour: Terrible weather! Me: And they call this the start of summer! Neighbour: Gives the flowers a chance I suppose. Later: Newsagents: Not letting up, is it? Me: Good for the flowers, though. Newsagent: Pity I’m not running a garden centre. No. I kept away from news about her as much as possible. To me now she was just a sexual object at the time of masturbation. As soon as my semen was out I blocked her out again.In the second year exams, I aced all tests. I was the topper by a mile. I was in the top 10 in the university. I felt vindicated. On the insistence of a few friends, I agreed to go with our class to a beach outing. I thought that I can afford that now. The trip was full of spirit and joy. Guys danced and sang.There was no. More

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