.. bastard!She first attracted me while she bathed in the sun, smothered in coconut smelling tanning lotion and very little else. Up till that moment,...my experience with members of the opposite sex was through my 19 inch screen and some web-sites with strange names.My shadow fell across her golden coloured torso and face. I will never forget the first words she spoke to me..."You're blocking my sun you idiot". It was music to my ears. "Move you dipshit!" She sat up as she shouted at me and I. “He’s just like this,” P90 said, grinning at me.“Quiet, woman,” Lord Darkeye snapped.“Hey, her name is P90!” I said, stepping forward.“Her name is irrelevant,” Lord Darkeye growled, his legs whirring and clicking as he started to stand more taller, straightening his digigrade leg. His eye swiveled down to glare at us, balefully. Man, baleful is such a great word. It fit the situation well. I grinned, slowly as he continued to speak. “You think that you’ve gotten close to escaping, don’t you?. More

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