It took a moment for him to think, then he nodded. ‘It’s just… I always feel so…powerless when I’m around her. I… I always try to prove to...her that I am worthwhile. I… I try to show her that I’m not just a stupid mistake she made.’ ‘Billy,’ I said, ‘you have shown her. You have proven to her that you are worthwhile. She… She just refuses to see it, and there’s nothing you can do about that. That’s her own fault. That’s her loss. ‘ Billy cuddled up to me even closer. ‘It’s just… Before I met. Hard until my arms or my clenched teeth started shaking.Weird "episodes" that maybe lasted 30 seconds to a minute and when they subsided, there was this huge feeling of release.. of accomplishment... even if I had no idea what I accomplished.So, even though I thought is was weird, the feeling afterwards made me not hate or fear this feeling when I felt the onset of an episode coming.Now fast forward a number of years and here's me in college, having the occasional girlfriend, but nothing overly. More

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