It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, “No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”An...eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle’s butt and asks, “How high up are we?” “About 2,000 feet,” the eagle replies. The mouse replies, “You ain’t sh*ttin’ me, are you?”A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his. Did he go to the bathroom with her? I had to investigate, so I walked over to the bedrooms and they were empty. So they had to be in the bathroom, I walked over there slowly and leaned against the door. I heard them talking. “We gotta tell her, I want her to know how much I love you and I wanna be with you. You are the sweetest and nicest guy I ever met in my life. I want to be hitched to you. You respect me and take care of me, if she wants us gone, then we can be gone by tomorrow, so let's. More

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