I knew I was smart and had a good job, butat age 20, I was still driven by urges I never had any control over, nomatter how hard I tried. I often felt...the urge to dress as a girl, buteach time I did, and then looked in the mirror, I saw a clown insteadof the woman I wanted to be. Including my makeup, I was merely a parodyof the woman in my dreams. My frustration at my inability to achieveany semblance of the woman I felt I wanted to become had driven me intosilent secrecy when I did try to. I laughed when I thought that the normal working hours of these farmers would cause any union man to file a grievance in a heartbeat.Yesterday Janet, Sheila and several of the wives accompanied the foraging team as they searched for wedding supplies for Saturday. I was glad I was giving the last of the brigade their familiarization flight today and would have Saturday and Sunday off before beginning to train the first class of new fliers on Monday. Julie stirred beside me and I watched her open. More

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