But now, more serious things.’ She fell silent, there was an expectant look on her face, and she was obviously waiting for me to say something. What...should that be? What did I want to say to her? What conclusions had I reached during the time I’d spent thinking about us? ‘Look, I’m not sure just what, or how to say some of this, so I’ll just charge ahead. If I’m wrong, or stupid, so be it, that’ll be my problem. But what I think, what I really want, goes something like this. I’ve never met a. I was numbed and in pain, never felt a thing, except I knew my virginity was gone to a disgusting smelly man and his semen leaked from me until I got home and showered.So that was it, a bit of an anticlimax really, there were times when I thought about it, I got a little thrill, and when I went into the living room we rented, mother handed me a fresh £20 note, 'This is yours', she said, 'spend it what you want', yes I did all the work and got a mere 10%, but it was mine and as we cozied up, I. More

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