I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was ...p for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's. It’s a combination of celebrating Mardi Gras and a victory parade. The President thought it was a great idea, so here we are,” he explained.“Great! I’ll be there to cheer for you.”“Like hell you will. You’ll be right there with us. Cooper insists that you call cadence for part of the march,” he laughed.“You guys did all the dirty work. All I did was sit on my grav sled and watch,” I protested.“Yeah, after you worked out the attack strategy and pinpointed all their snipers. Then you kept us up. More

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