A bloke is sunbathing with nothing but a hat covering his penis. Two women walk past and one shouts “if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat...to a lady!” The bloke replies “if you weren’t so ugly the hat would lift itself!”Me: “I can’t believe they’re back together after all that shit”. Wife: “Who?” Me: “My arse cheeks”“So let me get this straight” the prosecutor says to the defendant. “You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man”. “That’s correct” says. Years ago I'd had a fling with a girl from the swimming club, when the slap and tickle in the changing rooms got a bit out of hand. We had kissed and finger fucked that very first time, but the passion only lasted for a month or so before we both discovered boys.But now, with the room reeking of female hormones, my panties were feeling rather damp.Suddenly Ms Jones looked so desirable, playing with her daughter Lisa, stroking anti-stretch cream onto her breasts and bump.They dobbed cream onto. More

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