..There was more to us than just sex………. I know you knew it……. And so did I………. I got scared Barb…… I had this internal shield up,...and you were tearing it down……. Ever since Deb, I had that up……..I mean we were together what, 7 months, and they were fun too……..Sex was awesome between us, and towards the end, the sex was turning into love making more than sex……..Hell...most times I couldn’t wait to see you again…….. I was never like that with any previous women………..Some, I wished, I had never. I would be in a place where no one knew me and if I was seen it wouldn’t get back to anyone who knew me. So I decided to do it.I drove to Barcelona and on my way back, late morning, I stopped to have lunch and stay in a hotel. During the journey on the motorway, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was about to do. The thought process was complicated. If anybody saw me buying a gay magazine they would know I was gay and that I was probably going to wank over it. That made me feel a bit scared.. More

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