Was it when I moved to Canada? No that's too far back or is it not far enough? Sure, things can feel weird when you first move to a new place but this...was perhaps too weird. Too perfect. It never got uncomfortably cold or, if it did, the heater in my apartment came on all on it's own and the heater never got too hot. My apartment, more like my penthouse, who builds an apartment that big and then sells it that cheep? How did I even get to Canada? I never got a passport and I never bought a plane. The weird gown I was given with no underwear kept gaping as though to give everyone last looks. I kept raising my knees, forgetting how short the hospital gown was. I put messages on Alison’s phone, I don’t know how many but there must have been a lot, more than I remember. The loneliness of the wait. The crippling fear as I tried to read- to justify my reaction of hiding my head in a book. The shivers. There was more, and there were words, they spring at me, but I’m too embarrassed to admit. More

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