And so the pain is harsh, irregular, erratic in magnitude and measure. The slightest sensation can be its trigger-an image, a scent, a touch, real or ...magined. Even my most buoyant of moods is subject to the quick stab of memory, like a slap across the face. Nights and mornings-the worst times for distant lovers. I lie in bed in the evening, unable to sleep. The evening drifts into the early hours of morning, which bear witness to my fits and starts. These are the times for melancholy, when the. Night fell and there had still been no sign of him. I stripped down naked as this is the best way to sleep, then went to bed quite relieved that I still had a place to sleep for the night. I had been sleeping for a while when I was half awakened by the sound of noise by my apartment door. I assumed it was some drunk returning home and turned to go back to sleep. A few minutes later in my almost asleep state, I thought I heard another sound. I went to sit up but a powerful arm shoved me roughly. More

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