“Mom, will you have sex with me?”“What?!” Her reaction was as expected.She sat back on the sofa and I told her that I really liked Danielle, b...t she wanted to have sex. I reminded her of how awkward and nervous I was when she first started giving me hand jobs, and that I wouldn’t have been good at eating Danielle out tonight if she hadn’t taught me how to go down on her in the first place. She told me she’d think about it and we both went to bed.Two weeks went by without a reply. She continued. " Well, that's horrible, but I didn't do it."The rabbi almost choked on his indignation. "Are we supposed to believe you? Do you deny that you are an undead creature from the pits of hell?" Believe me or not, its the truth. As for denial, if you are asking if I'm a vampire, the answer is 'Yes'. However, I'm not from the pits of hell. I'm from Ireland." The last part must have non-plussed him as he shut up. I continued. "I am undead, but I wasn't always. I'm not a demon. I survive by drinking. More

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