. give or take a few, You’re thinking ‘there’s 300 pounds left.’ You’ll be sitting on 250 pounds of that because this plane don’t fly with...ut parachutes ... accidents happen. If it’s happening to that commercial flight you missed, you’re dead. With these ‘chutes you have a chance ... slim is better than none.”Kimberley, one of the girls, asked him why he didn’t include his weight in the mix.“Cause I ain’t flying this bitch. Wendy is left seat, Dave is right ... it’s their plane.“Get one. It was the day before my 25th birthday. I was having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, Julissia. As we sat at the table waiting on our appetizers she pulled a pretty large gift out of her overly large purse. She slid the gift across the table to me and said "Early happy birthday. I couldn't wait any longer to give it to you." Being the present whore I am, I was elated. I didn't waste any time ripping the decorative paper off. What was under the wrappings shocked the fuck out of me. Lying. More

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