I had loved her before as a close friend, but now I was "in love" with her.Yet as a teenager I had also put her on a pedestal high above me, only atta...nable in my deepest darkest fantasies. As a physical woman, she became untouchable for me.Still, within me was such an overpowering desire to somehow unite, to bind myself, with her, my idol, my best friend, my role model, and heroine. My desire was sexual in nature, but more than just sexual. My desire was born of love, but more than love. My. He uncovered my mouth and said “Open.” I obliged and he pushed my own fingers into my mouth…watched intently as I sucked them clean, half turned toward him so he could see me do it. A voice in the next room suddenly laughed so loud, so close, that I jumped and turned fully towards Ben, looking at him with pure panic. He looked at the fear in my eyes and I saw how much he liked it. He mouthed the words “Finger Your Clit.” I needed no translation, nor was he impressed with the worry and. More

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