InLos Angeles next month, at the Academy Awards. No more Gore-Tex for you!We?ll have Mademoiselle run you up some new gowns." The Oscars? Oh! Master! ... mean, William! Will it be as... um, will itbe like Sundance?" Haven?t you watched the Oscars on TV?" I shook my head. "Ten or twentytimes fancier, for one night only," he said, "and the only thing youhave to do is look gorgeous on the biggest red carpet in the world."Oh God! I didn?t want to do it, but it didn?t matter. William was takingme to. Fortunately for you young lad we're not into beating boys, so here's thedeal. I pay for the damage and George here gets to take it out on the backsideof this delectable young lady. Your punishment is to watch her pain and humiliation.Meanwhile, I'll record the present on my camcorder for posterity." Pat gasped and looked at me in horror. I must have lookedat her with pretty much the same expression. Aware that we were losing theinitiative I asked "So what exactly will this entail?" "Well. More

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