Due to a host of reasons, my dick actually getting hard is a rapidly fading memory. I had gotten her some big vibrators and dildos, but she would usua...ly get things over with before we ever got to them, or express her distaste. Besides, if 4 or 5 is the best I can manage, I did not want to use a huge cock on her and then be the Volkswagen in the airplane hangar. One day she was being bitchy, a sure sign that she needed a good fucking. After the k**s were asleep and we went to bed, I woke up to. Perfect. Must be annoying as hell. And her bottom is just above the top-of-bed line, exposing her pussy and ass for me to play with.I leave her like that for I moment because what I need now is a dildo-analogue. Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay, what can I use… My spare non-smartphone? Enclosed in a condom? It’s not that wide… or thick… the ass might be a stretch (pardon the pun), but the pussy should work. Let’s do that. And, ooh! Can we all say “remote control”?Newly equipped, I’d love to sit on her. More

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