Finally, giddy with excitement and amphetamines, we pulled the overheating van into Bethel, New York, home of the festival. No, it wasn't really in Wo...dstock, NY. It was held at Max Yasgur's dairy farm in Bethel. Traffic was backed up for miles and moved at the pace of my grandmother on a Quaalude bender. The townspeople lined up, slack-jawed, to watch the freaks roll through, like a deleted scene from "Easy Rider." But they were wonderfully nice and welcoming to us, offering food and kindness. It took me nearly a week to get my personal and business matters under control. I called Ryan, my lover and sometime film director, explaining my sabbatical. He understood my loss and I met him at his place. I had only seen him three times since I had begun the tour with my mom and grandmother and then I disappeared for almost 4 months. We sat and talked at his house as I explained what had occurred, completely leaving out most of the truth. I just told him that I had to get away to think and. More

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