The black shapeless cloud blocked my way. It floated in the middle ofthe yard, above the asphalt-topped path leading to the school parkinglot, and it ...bsorbed the light and warmth from the air around it. Nowthat I was level with it and also closer to it than at Kenny'sparents' house, its presence and will were far more intense. They hitme like a physical pressure and stopped me as surely as if I hadcollided with a stone wall.My resolve was drained from me. It made no longer any difference to. Nothing had changed. I hadn't changed, my Daddy wouldn't have changed. Not the way I wanted him to, so what was the point? He was my dad, I missed him. I didn't need a point, I told myself. That was enough. I'd been gone one night, moved out gone, and I couldn't stay away for another, not like that. It was only going to get worse if I stayed with Deke. I'd drink and do drugs and fuck and get passed around from man to man, and no one would ever love me. No one would take care of me. I'd get old. More

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