.. I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you as... for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try. I had massaged her feet two or three times since that awful day, but it just didn’t feel the same for me and she sensed it. In an effort to cheer me up she got me involved in helping her bake a cake for the competition at the village fete which was being held the following day. She was making every effort to win and I was soon beginning to feel the same as we slaved away in her kitchen. All our hard work paid off when the announcement was made that she had won first prize and she was overjoyed. More

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