If I had to name a single reason why, I'd say it's because you're dead. When you're alive you barely even see life - not the bugs crawling on the side...alk or the mold growing in the gutters. When you're a vampire, they all glow. Dead things glow too - now that I'm one of them, I feel like they're my friends, my family even. I know I'm not so different than a rock or a velvet Elvis painting. We get along, other not-alive things and I. We understand one another. Not that I didn't talk to. My love for him was very innocent and as I got older my feelings have become stronger and more sexual. I would masturbate over him two or three times a week dreaming that some day I would make love to the sexiest guy on the planet. Nick Carter was gorgeous - tall, blonde, blue eyed.As Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys, one of the world's biggest boy bands, got older and sexier, I got older. I was twenty four years old now and he was thirty one.I flew over to see the Backstreet Boys in London. More

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