And it bled some. But I tried again a few days later, and after a couple times it didn't hurt and felt really good.” She told me about other objects... like of course the standard hairbrush, buzzing herself with an electric toothbrush, inserting carrots and other vegetables, lollypops, kitchen utensils. “But I'm not a pervert, I swear.” We both laughed. “Well, maybe a little.” I grabbed the wine bottle and poured the rest for us, distributing it between our glasses. “Oh, and a wine bottle.”“Um, a. "Fucking Celeste," I said to no one in particular. "And she *never* comments on the disclaimers where I try to sneak in the part about having to be 18 or older to read the thing." Like that."Now she's hired guest reviewers and won't even tell us who they are!" I was in a funk. "How are you supposed to know whether to believe them or not? Christ, it could be Mr.Fucking Spraycan writing the goddamn thing." There, there, dear. Why don't you just go downstairs to your computer and write a story?". More

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