"What's on the program today?" I asked, as we entered."We are going to make some modifications to your body," he said."What? What kind of modification...?" One of the reasons for your lack of speed as a linebacker was that you have the trunk of a man who should be six foot six and the legs of a man who should be six feet even. Another glaring mismatch is your enormous feet. You do not need size sixteen quintuple E feet to carry your size. The fact that they are also as flat as a flitter is not. None of that cheap mass-produced mousetrap that a miser like Alastair would buy!" You're wrong there, my darling wife, a true miser would take the cheese from someone else's mousetrap, blow the dust off it and pronounce it delicious!"That did make us all laugh. There was no answer to a comment like that.Sheila had been admiring the kilts."Is that the Baxter tartan?" Ah. Yes and no. Yes, there has been a Baxter tartan for at least six generations, and we think it's a variation on the Buchanan. More

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