Helen and I started talking and eventually me and this girl split it off. Helen and I graduated and a few weeks later we were standing in a church get...ing married. I took Helen’s virginity that night in a Sheraton by Milwaukee’s airport when our flight got delayed. On our honeymoon I tried some of the things I learned with that girl, but they were non-starters for Helen. I tried every few years, but Helen thought them borderline sick. ‘Helen wasn’t bad in bed. She was just unadventurous. I. Every young guy back then, me included, would give his left nut to be able to be with her. Here before me was my Molly Ringwald and I’m going to have her. Hell, why should I be driving a “Tin-Lizzy” when I could have a Maserati?I, being the piece of shit that I was, handed my wife my drink and said, “here, hold this” and I wended my way through the crowd to find “my” stunning redhead. When I caught up to her, I found out she was here with her dad, who happened to handle my insurance needs. “Hey. More

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