He was nice to chat to, but I knew I wasn't interested in fucking him. I planned on taking my time that night, picking the best of the bunch for myse...f. After a while, and after my heart rate returned to normal, I felt completely relaxed in my surroundings. That hard bit was over. I sat chatting to numerous people when a woman across the room caught my eye. She wore a pure white dress that clung to her curves in such a sexy way. Her partner was talking away to her but she wasn't listening.. Hiding the eggs was easy since my lazy ass brother-in-law hadn't mowed since the Obama election. The entire yard looked like the set of "Jumanji" or even worse, Robin William's arms. (Too soon?)Katrina and I could wait no longer. We were holding hands and kissing deeply in the waist-high grass. As we began picking ticks off each other like grooming primates, my sister burst through the door, opening fire with her weapon of choice, a Thompson submachine gun. That's how Republicans announce. More

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