I told her we were going to the beach but she didn't want to go. I let her know that if I could invite her mom over and keep them company, clean the k...tchen, then should could at least go to the beach with me for an hour. I told her we would only stay about an hour then she could come home if she wanted. You could tell she didn't really want to go but she said ok. I told her to just lay there and I would get her bikini and beach dress on. She closed her eyes, laid her head back and I started. Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from. More

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