I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit".2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord does...'t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl. ’ Maria’s voice was stern and I looked up, shocked that she should thus speak to a Lady-in-Waiting to none less than our monarch. Imagine then my surprise when her Ladyship replied. ‘I am indeed. I know it well, Miss.’ “Miss”? How could she so demean herself? ‘How shall I deal with such a perverse and ill-behaved lady?’ ‘Verily, I know not, Miss.’ Maria, with her feline grace, rose from the bed. ‘Madeleine, sit in the chair.’ She was so stern that I obeyed immediately. ‘This wretch wants of. More

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