More often than not, she fingers herself with thesame strawberry pink nail polish, telling herself that the hand isJenny's, not her own.Staring back a... the green dress, Susie realizes that she's lonely. She,not Ann, was the one who pushed Jenny to her life now. If she hadn'tmade the suggestion that first night, and if she hadn't teased Ben soseductively at work, Ann probably would have dumped him. Could he havebecome hers, then? No, probably not. More likely, he would havepromised to give. I was numb to them. The dance that inevitably followed dinner was likely to be no different…the novelty of these functions had long ago worn off. I longed for the thrill of early recovery, when everything seemed new and exciting–when just being alive and drug-free was an epiphany. I attended the dinner and was not even planning on going to the dance but reconsidered when I heard that there was going to be a live band instead of the usual DJ. I went back to my room, showered, shaved and dressed. More

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