Ted, coming from the North of England had been many times and he told me of some quite wild experiences he’d had there. In the end I badgered him to...take me so he organised a weekend trip there. We had a great time the first night and I was really enjoying the buzz of the place, lots of scantily clad girls on hen parties and so forth. We ended up in a club where I had a couple of advances from guys chancing their arm but things just didn’t click although it had clearly gotten me in the mood for. The Jaeger-LeCoultre dress watch slips over my hand and I click closed the deployment clasp on the alligator strap. I check the time. Twelve and a half minutes past the hour, I need to be making a move. Two silver cufflinks go quickly through the buttonholes in my double cuffs and hold the opposite ends together around my wrists. Now for the coat. Colloquially known as a jacket, but as they say on Savile Row, jackets are for potatoes. The interior hides the one splash of colour, a tasteful pale. More

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