My life at the moment is hell; my body is a twisted, mangled wreck. I hate it.I get depressed, a lot; in fact, it makes more sense to say that I occa...ionally feel okay, because my natural state is of self-hatred. I've started carrying a razor round with me now, in the pocket of my coat. It's not like the big fucker I keep in the bag behind my chest of drawers, or the knife I keep in my desk, but a little one, still in the casing. It's enough to cause pain and to draw blood, and it will do. My father had begun to see other women, women my age. However on the first night we made love daddy told me that he had had sexual feelings towards me every since I was a teenager.He told me how he use to watch me get undress, and then he would jack off whenever we were alone in the house. I didn’t know at the time that mom had took another female lover. Dad knew that he could not compete with another woman for my mother’s love, so in his mind dad turn to the next best thing, me.I love the feel. More

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