.ALDONZAI am not your lady!...I am not any kind of a lady!I was spawned in a ditchBy a mother who left me there,Naked and cold andtoo hungry to cry;I ...ever blamed her.I am sure she left hopingThat I’d have the good sense to die!Then, of course, there’s my father...I am told that young ladiesCan point to their fathersWith maidenly pride;Mine was some regimentHere for an hour,I can’t even tell you which side!So of course I became,As befitted my delicate birth,The most casual brideOf the murdering. Mam never complained, but Da could see she was unhappy and he scraped together enough money to buy a derelict cottage further up the valley. He spent every spare moment of the next few years restoring and modernising it, and after eight years Mam and Da finally moved into their own home. Although they tried hard, no children came along, and after ten years they had become resigned to the fact they would never be parents. Then by some miracle — perhaps it was something they ate — when she was. More

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